- Carley is AWESOME! I love her so much. I never knew I could feel this way. I have really enjoyed being around her 24-7 and being there for every special moment.
- I love sleep. Carley is doing much better. She usually gives me one 5-7 hour stint of sleep at night. However, I have gotten used to going back to sleep for 2 more 2 hour stints and not getting up till 8:30 or 9. How on earth am I going to wake up and get there?
- Carley takes a bottle well. She has taken one a day since she was 2 weeks old in preparation for me going back to work. How am I supposed to feel professional at work while taking pumping breaks? UGH!
- Cody and I have gotten to spend a ton of time together. We have taken naps, gone to the movies, gone on walks, and just hung out for his time off. I will miss him too.
- Carley smells so good. I love her baby smell and I will miss it when I am dealing with stinky teenagers.
- I have no desire to wear clothes that aren't elastic which is all I have worn since my 4th month of pregnancy.
- I will miss my baby.
- Who will style Carley's wacked out hair? I smile everytime I see it!
Here is the kicker though:
- I love my job. It is perfect for me and I used to be really good at it. I am afraid I will not be good at it anymore and feel like I am letting my colleagues down.
- I feel guilty for wanting to go back in many ways because I do love my job and I enjoy the adult conversation, the interaction with kids, and the break from diapers.
- I feel guilty for wanting the financial stability that 2 jobs provide even though we could make it on Cody's alone.
- I feel torn. When I am home, I find myself missing work and missing my job. When I think about going back, I cry and think about missing one minute with my little girl.
MAN!
Any thoughts out there?
7 comments:
My advice to you is....you don't have to make any big decisions today. Give it the rest of the semester and see how it goes. It'll fly by after spring break. Whether you stay at home or work, you will always be the WORLDS BEST mommy to Carley...and she will know it!
I know that it will be so tough to leave little Carley... but I am so glad that you have such a great situation. You have a great job that you love and is perfect for you--- and Cody and Mom are going to love to get Carley time by themselves. I know that Thursday will be tough... but you will do great and so will Carley :) May will be here before you know it...I only wish that she could come to Aunt Alyssa's house some days too.
I think that whatever you do, it will be the right thing for you guys as parents, and for the baby as well. As a full-time working mommy myself, I can tell you that there will be times when you're ready to throw in the towel and give up on work. But, there are other times when you just sit back and think about how great your job is as well, and what a nice break it is from the craziness of mommyhood. Work is the one place where you can feel like your old self, even for just a little bit. It makes seeing your little one at the end of the day such a precious reunion! I'm torn right now with what I should and shouldn't be doing when it comes to the work situation, but prayer has helped me calm down tremendously. Take it one day at a time girl! --Sara
I think you definitely just need to do what is right for your family. I stay at home and love it most of the time, but there are days where I just wish I had a job to go to for some real conversation and some time outside of the house without a baby. Sometimes, I just wish I could think about something besides diapers and the last time Jackso ate. I don't think you should feel guilty in the slightest about wanting to go back to work. I think your are a fabulous mommy, and I think that in the future, Carley will also cherish the alone time that she gets to spend with her daddy and her grandmother.
Great post Ashley. I agree with everyone here. I think you have a unique situation in that you a) like to work (we lose a lot of people here) and b) have a choice (lose the rest here). What a neat opportunity for all of you to meet the needs of so many people in your family! Dad gets his alone time, Nana gets hers, you get yours AND a fulfilling job with a paycheck- I think it's a win-win situation.
I grew up with working parents. I believe it influnced me in great ways. (I don't think that I'm that screwed up comparatively.) And I know many that were raised by wonderful stay-at-home moms who still do not know how to do their own laundry or other strangely independent tasks. I think working or not, kids are influenced by the ways parents are involved in their life. School was #1 in our house, so the precious hours at night were 1) around the dinner table-together; 2) finishing, checking, and re-checking homework; 3) lots of hugs and kisses and backrubs and playing with the doggie.
Good life. I see the same future for all of you- with the occasional ride in the city fire truck because your husband is cool and has connections like that.
You dont know me personally I am a friend of Summer Fuquas, bur I read your blog and felt that I could comment here. First I have a baby with crazy hair too and somehow they manage to get by. Second, I am a working mom and there are days that it is hard to send her off to day care, but she has been there since six weeks old and is now six months, she absolutely loves it there. You have the best of both worlds in that your family is watching her. All those things you feel about your job are normal, and you cant feel guilty. I know I did too, but I think I am a better mom because I work. I never get burnt out on being a mommy and I look forward to seeing her everyday. You have to give it time and all those feelings, except this missing her thing, will fade and you realize one of two things...I am doing exactly what God wants me to do, or that you need to try something else. Either way God will guide you. All your feelings are so normal. Just dont let anyone else pressure you and let God lead you. Sorry if it is unwanted advice, I just really understand all the feelings that you are having.
You are having the normal feelings every Mom has. Just a lot of prayer seems to be the answer. It sounds like you have the best of both worlds. Carley will be with either your Mom or Cody and you get to do a job you love too. She is very lucky to have such a wonderful family to love and care for her. Sounds like you are a Great Mom already and that is not gooing to change.
Post a Comment