Not quite June Cleaver more like Roseanne

One of Cody's chiefs and his wife have been trying to have a baby for 17 years! After 3 failed adoptions, they are three weeks away from becoming parents. The birth mom has signed everything, the paperwork is in place, all things are a "go". As you can imagine, they have several hesitations about buying too much stuff or having showers until their baby girl is in their arms. The chief's wife is a manager at Mardel. I saw her last week and she asked me some questions about what she would need for the first 24 hours of the baby's life with them. I started giving her some ideas when we just decided it would be easier for me to show her what Carley has and then they can make their own choices after they take a look. One thing lead to another and I invited the chief and his wife over for dinner and to talk baby stuff. What was I thinking? I am not the hostess with the mostest by any stretch! I don't do centerpieces. I try to keep a clean and tidy house, but fall very short. I don't enjoy dressing up for things or setting a formal table. Now I am having Cody's boss and his wife over for dinner tonight. They are an amazing Christian couple. They are completely unassuming, unpretentious, and not the kind of people that would care about Martha Stewart at all. None the less, here are my top 13 fears of what might end up being said tonight at supper:

1. "Wow, I have never had this type of meat blackened before"
"I didn't mean to blacken it, I just burned it on accident"

2. "I am so glad you didn't go to any trouble over our meal"
"Actually, this is the best I can do"

3. "Cody, it is funny that a fireman's wife burned the kitchen cooking supper."

4. "Ashley, did you just finish working out"
" No, I just prefer clothes that are elastic during the summer"

5. "Ashley, most 28 year olds don't have a large pimple on the side of their face, what do you think caused this?"

6. "Ashley, now I can see why you chose not to be part of the Fireman's Wife Auxiliary Club. We aren't your type are we?"

7. "Ashley, I am so glad you are resting this summer and not worried about housework."

8. "It is so nice to have a relaxed dinner. We always get invited to nice, fancy, gourmet meals, it is so nice to just have regular old stuff."

9. "Ashley since Carley is almost six months old, how much longer do you think it will take you to lose your large pooch. Most women look like they did before they are pregnant by now."

10. "Ashley, how many times have you made cookies and taken them up to the station?"
"ummm....none"

11. "Cody, after spending the evening at your home, we are putting you back on probation."

12. "Ashley, I think you spilled something on your shirt". I look down to see salsa where it always ends up..not in my lap, but on my chest. Every time!

13. "This was so fun, let's do this every month."
I then pass out at the thought of all of the pressure.